On Top Of The World
by Coshie
Summary: ...and falling fast. Kenny's life had never been great, and constant deaths left him wanting something to fill the void. One-shot. Rated for rather coarse language. Style and hints of KxK.


A/N: Whoa. And now I write a South Park fanfic. I've certainly spread my bad writing skills over many fandoms. x) Anyway, thanks for stopping in. There's fairly coarse language and smoking and descriptions of bad habits, but nothing like lemon. Just wanted the rating just in case.

In case it's not clear in the story, Stan, Kenny, and Kyle are having a sleepover. Cartman's not there because his character wouldn't have helped the scene. x) Sorry to Carman fans.

Also, this is inspired by a piece of fan-art I saw somewhere. Don't remember. But anyway.

**s o s i t o n t o p o f t h e w o r l d**

"Hey Stan. Have you ever thought about what else is out there?"

"God, Kyle, it's two in the morning," Stan muttered, opening his eyes long enough to check the luminous red digits of the clock on the floor next to him. "Go back to sleep."

But the redhead was staring at the ceiling in contemplation. He had obviously been awake for a while now. "We can't be alone."

"In the morning, Kyle," the boy said a bit muffled his face half-buried in his pillow.

Kyle rolled over onto his side, facing his friend. "You're not curious?"

"Not right now."

The light laughter of the redhead swirled around Stan. He was tired, and didn't want to talk right now. And Kyle found this amusing? He was almost tempted to spit a snide remark at him, but kept quiet and waited for Kyle to elaborate, as he knew he would.

"It's just that… with all that's happened lately…"

"Oh god, Kyle, don't start reflecting." Now there was an undertone of pleading in the black-haired male's voice. He was awake now. Unwillingly.

Kyle fell silent at the command. Because that's what it had been. A very sharp command to shut the hell up.

"Hey."

Stand and Kyle raised their heads to the blond on the couch. He was reading by flashlight so as not to wake them, and an unlit cigarette was suspended gently between his lips.

"Kenny, why are you-- ?"

"Awake?" Kenny stifled a yawn, glancing down at his friends in sleeping bags on the floor. "Couldn't sleep."

Silence fell among them again. Paper rustled as Kenny flipped the page.

"What if…?" Kyle started hesitantly. But he wasn't stopped. "What if we can't control what happens?"

"We can't," Kenny said, almost to himself rather than the others.

Kyle continued regardless. "It's just that a lot has happened lately that's been… well, out of our control."

Kenny snorted, but said nothing.

"So what?" Stan asked. "So we can't control it."

"But doesn't it make you think?" Kyle questioned, smiling a little at him. "Who is it that's controlling our lives?"

"He obviously has a fucked up sense of humor," Kenny muttered, turning another page.

Silence once again. Stan was staring at Kyle thoughtfully, thinking about what he had said. Kyle's lips were curved into a sort of satisfied smile now that he had his friend thinking.

Kenny snapped his book shut, making the other two jump a little. The blond shined the flashlight down on them. "Either of you two want to go for a walk?"

- - - - -

Stan and Kyle had little to be bitter about in the grand scheme of things. Stan was captain of the basketball team and really quite popular. Kyle was one of the best students in the school, captain of the math team. Both of them were busy most of the time, but had found time somewhere in between everything for a little bit of romance.

While Stan practically had his choice of girls in the school, he had chosen his best friend. He didn't necessarily consider himself "gay", as he still fooled around with girls from time to time. But he wasn't, perhaps, "straight" either. "Bisexual" wasn't quite the word, as he didn't really like any other guys. It was simply the fact that he had chosen to pursue his best friend in lieu of a girl.

Kyle was very new to the whole thing of romance. He had never kissed a girl, and when Stan started dropping hints, he couldn't quite say "no". They weren't in a full relationship for everyone to see. Stan still went out with other girls, and both claimed to be "single". In fact, the only other person that really knew about the full extent of their relationship was Kenny.

Unlike the other two, Kenny had much to be bitter about. Family and school matters aside – for they were far too many to recount – he simply had problems with life. His almost constant deaths were normal now. They were no less annoying, however, and in order to escape the pain and frustration of the continuous dying, he had taken up a number of bad habits.

First was drinking. He was certainly not a heavy drinker, and was rarely drunk. Just a beer or two to numb the pain, and he'd be on his way. He ignored warnings from those who didn't know him that drinking would "eventually kill him".

Smoking soon followed alcohol. He didn't have a lot of money to spend on cigarettes, and as a result, he only smoked a cigarette or two a day. But he would walk around with it between his lips, waiting to light it. Some days, he could go without. But those days were few and far between.

Another bad habit was porn. He had always read the books, but recently the number of times he read them had risen exponentially. This was simply to loose himself in a world that was perfect. Full of beautiful women who wanted nothing more than to have their brains screwed out.

More recently, Kenny had found another temporary escape in the form of girls and sex. He was quite popular among the high school girls and had little trouble finding one to mess around with for an afternoon. But that was usually as long as it lasted. He now had a reputation for this, though it did not put a damper on his ability to find a girl.

- - - - -

"Hah… it's really cold out, isn't it?" Kyle chuckled a little, rubbing his mittened hands together. Stan laughed and move closer, wrapping an arm around Kyle's waist, pulling him close.

"It usually is at three am," Kenny shrugged, pulling up his hood. He was walking slightly ahead of the other two, trudging though the snow, hands in his pockets. His now-lit cigarette bounced slightly with every step he took.

"What's on your mind?" Stan asked the blond. He knew something was going through his friend's mind if he wanted to go walking at such an ungodly hour. But both he and Kyle had gone with him because they knew better than to let Kenny wander alone at night.

Kenny shrugged again, and said nothing, blowing thin wispy smoke up into the air.

They had been walking for nearly half-an-hour now. None of them knew where they were going, but they would know when they got there.

Finally, Kenny's steps slowed, and Stan and Kyle followed suit. They were on the edge of a field, standing near a metal railing, a couple yards away from a metal fence.

Nobody said anything. Kenny pulled himself up onto the railing, sitting on the topmost bar, smothering his cigarette on the metal and letting it fall into the snow. Kyle and Stan traded a slightly questioning glance. But it was obvious they had reached where they were going.

Kyle leaned up against the railing, bending his right leg to rest his foot on the bottom bar. Stan just shrugged and plopped down in the snow at Kyle's feet and took his hat off.

"Fuck them."

Stan and Kyle looked up at Kenny, who was staring at the sky. "What?" Stan asked.

"I said, 'fuck them'. Whoever it is up there controlling us. Fuck 'em." His normally shining blue eyes were now clouded slightly with what was perhaps anger. He was glaring at the starry sky, as if daring whoever it was to kill him right here.

"They're probably watching us right now," Kyle said, with a hint of a smile. "Just thinking of the best way to kill you next."

Kenny made a rather sudden movement, and Kyle flinched, afraid Kenny was going to strike out at him for the joke. But looking over at him, the blond was pulling himself up to his feet on top of the railing.

"Kenny, what're you…?"

"Fuck you!" The shout echoed off the trees behind them. Kenny raised his middle finger to the heavens above. "Whoever you are, I don't want anymore of your shit!"

Stan and Kyle looked at each other, unsure of what to say or do. But one was just as clueless as the other.

"Dammit," Kenny said, a little less loud, lowering his hand. He was still staring angrily into the black sky. "Dammit!"

Kyle straightened up, looking a little worried now. After trading quick glances with Stan, who shrugged, he looked back at the blond. He saw a glimmer on Kenny's cheek, and realized he was crying. That, more than anything, worried him. Kyle reached for his friend's arm. "Ken-- "

But the blond pulled away, his eyes not leaving the sky. "Why me?" he asked. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. He normally would never have shown such raw emotion. But in front of Stan and Kyle, he didn't care. Their opinions of him hadn't changed yet and they never would.

"Hey man, c'mon," Kyle said trying again to take Kenny's hand. He didn't pull away this time. "Let's go back home."

Kenny closed his eyes, gripping Kyle's hand tighter. After a moment longer, he stepped off the railing into the snow, even though it was easily a three foot difference. He didn't let go of Kyle's hand. "Sometimes… sometimes I wonder if it's really worth waking up in the morning."

"It's always worth waking up," Stan spoke up, standing. Kenny looked over at him. "You have us to wake up to, so it's not all bad, right?" Stan offered a smile.

Kenny sniffed a little, looking at Stan, trying to think of something to say. But nothing came. He let his head fall onto Kyle's shoulder, sharing in the other boy's warmth. "I like waking up to you two," he murmured. "It's the only thing I look forward to in my life anymore."


End file.
